“The Snake Incident”

It is Monday morning just a little past 8:00 AM. Melvin, the maintenance tech for Green Valley, has come into the office to clock in. He notices that a maintenance request was received online over the weekend and prints it out. Apartment 7 says the kitchen sink overflowed on Sunday night. It did not flood, but is still clogged. Melvin decides to check it out to be sure it does not overflow again.

He goes to the maintenance shop and gathers his tools, including the electric drain auger (snake). He arrives at Unit 7 and knocks 3 times. No one answers the door, so he uses his master key, unlocks the door and calls out “MAINTENANCE, MAINTENANCE!” He receives no answer and after putting his “MAINTENANCE IS IN YOUR UNIT” door hanger on the knob, enters the kitchen area. Sure enough the sink fills as he turns on the water, and it will not drain.

Melvin prepares the drain snake with the proper tip, plugs it into the outlet and begins to auger the drain. The auger actually pulls itself through the pipe by virtue of the circular motion, encounters the “tee” fitting at the disposer and makes a turn through the pipe that connects the other side of the double sink.

Now due to the design of the plumbing in the buildings, the apartment units are “back to back” meaning that the plumbing drain pipes from each next-door unit run into a common main line.

As the “snake” follows due course, it runs into the clog. The snake is looking for the path of least resistance, and detours into the convenient (clear) drain of Unit 9. Melvin, unaware that the snake has gone astray, suddenly hears someone screaming, “HELP”. It is a scream of pure terror.

Melvin drops the snake, runs out the door, looks up and down the hallway and sees nothing. Then the screaming continues and he determines that it is coming from Unit 9. He bangs on the door yelling MAINTENANCE!! And uses his master key to enter the unit.

Melvin encounters a scene that he would never imagine. The female resident has her back against the kitchen counter and is completely pinned. The spinning “snake” popped out of her kitchen sink where she was standing with her back to the counter sipping coffee, flopped over the counter, entangled her nightgown which is now twisted up above her waist leaving her completely naked below.

Melvin, acting on training, company policy and instinct, grabs his cell phone and takes a photograph that has a date and time imprint on it. ???

Homer Says:
“Do not corner something that is meaner than you.”

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